How To Write a Memoir

Introduction

What is a memoir?

Memoirs are a new form of a very old kind of storytelling. Imagine sitting by a fire, captivated by someone’s life-changing stories—not just what happened play by play, but the lessons and emotions that came with it. That’s the power of a memoir. Unlike an autobiography, which emphasizes facts and chronology across an entire lifetime, a memoir focuses on key experiences that shaped who you are, and why they matter to others.

Why write a memoir? Maybe you want to leave a legacy, inspire others, or blend your professional expertise with personal narrative. Take Sherman Haggerty’s Hope Disappearing as an example. His memoir of his work to address homelessness sheds light on a pressing issue while sharing highlights of Haggerty’s story and expertise, leaving a lasting impact and calling readers to action.

7 Steps Writing a Memoir

1. Discovering Your Memoir’s Core Theme

The heart of an impactful memoir lies in its core theme—the guiding message or experience that gives your story purpose. Identifying this theme turns your narrative into a cohesive journey that can resonate with readers. This core theme will also help determine your audience—are you telling a story about coming of age, shrewd business acumen, or travel and exploration? A retired author might want to focus their story on hard-won wisdom and the importance of family, while an author at the height of their career might emphasize professional lessons.

Remember, readers don’t go out looking for “a memoir,” they look for lessons that could help them, from an author with wisdom to share. What story do you want to tell? And what lessons are at the heart of it? Are there pivotal moments that shaped the course of your life?

What’s important is to find a common thread and stick with it. Unless you are already famous, most readers won’t want to read your compilation of unrelated life lessons and memories. Instead, they’ll be looking for answers and inspiration on a topic—work, family, travel, etc. Figure out what the common thread is for you.

2. Structuring Your Memoir for Maximum Impact

Create a clear structure: beginning, middle, and end. But this doesn’t have to be chronological. Themes or turning points can anchor your story. In I Am Here: Postcards from My Daughter in Spirit, Judith Jones Togher uses her journey through grief as the central theme, guiding readers through her emotional evolution. What structure is right for your memoir?

A chronological structure organizes a memoir by following the timeline of events, from beginning to end. This approach is clear and easy to follow, providing a natural flow that mirrors how we recall our lives. It’s familiar to readers and creates a straightforward narrative. However, it can feel predictable and limiting, especially if the story doesn’t follow a simple progression or if there are multiple themes to explore. The structure might also stifle creativity and emotional depth.

A thematic structure, on the other hand, organizes the memoir around key ideas or themes rather than events. This allows for deeper exploration of specific concepts, giving the writer more freedom to move across time to highlight connections. Thematic structures can be highly engaging and flexible, but they can also be harder for readers to follow if not clearly organized, and may risk feeling too fragmented or abstract.

An episodic structure presents the memoir as a series of self-contained episodes, each highlighting significant events or turning points in the author’s life. This structure offers variety and pacing, making it ideal for vivid, memorable moments that stand on their own. It allows for creative freedom with time and content, but it can feel disjointed if the episodes don’t connect well, leaving the memoir without a cohesive narrative.

3. Writing Authentic and Engaging Content

A great memoir connects with readers through raw, unfiltered truth. Don’t shy away from sharing your struggles, failures, or unpolished moments. Vulnerability fosters a genuine bond with readers, making your story more relatable and impactful. Think of Tara Westover’s Educated, where her honest portrayal of her upbringing and the complexities of breaking away from her past earned her widespread acclaim. Readers are drawn to authenticity, so be brave and open in your storytelling.

Emotional honesty in memoir writing is the cornerstone of creating a deep, authentic connection with readers. Vulnerability—the willingness to expose one’s true feelings, struggles, and imperfections—allows readers to see the writer as fully human. When a writer is emotionally honest, they foster a sense of shared humanity, making readers feel understood and less alone in their own challenges. The courage to be vulnerable turns a personal story into a universal one, resonating far beyond the individual writer’s experience.

For example, in “The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls, the author’s emotional honesty about her tumultuous childhood—marked by poverty, neglect, and an often unstable home—creates a powerful connection. She writes, “I had learned to hate the things that had once made me proud.” Walls’s vulnerability about her deep love for her parents, despite their flaws, and the pain of reconciling those conflicting feelings, makes her story relatable and profoundly human. Readers can identify with the tension of loving imperfect people.

4. Writing Authentic and Engaging Content

Creating vivid, engaging scenes in your memoir turns your story from a simple recounting of events into an immersive experience that readers won’t forget. Here’s how to make your writing impactful:

Use Sensory Details

Engage all five senses to paint a vivid picture. Instead of saying, “It was cold,” describe how the wind stung your face or how your breath fogged the air. In Hope Disappearing, Sherman Haggerty vividly depicts the harshness of life on the streets, making readers feel the environment alongside the characters.

Show, Don’t Tell

Illustrate emotions through actions rather than simply stating them. Instead of writing, “I was terrified,” show how your pulse pounded or your hands shook.

Use Dialogue for Authenticity

Authentic dialogue can bring your memories to life, providing insight into relationships and conflicts. Recreate conversations as authentically as possible, prioritizing the tone and essence over a precise recall of a real-life conversation.

Balance Reflection and Action

While introspection is essential, keep your story moving with action-packed scenes. Alternate between moments of self-reflection and vivid scenes that drive the narrative forward. Haggerty balances his critique of systemic issues with captivating, heartfelt stories, maintaining reader engagement.

5. Practical Tips to Stay Motivated

Writing any book is easier said than done! Once you’ve decided you want to write a memoir, time management and writer’s block will be key challenges.

One effective technique to overcome writer’s block is free writing, where you set a timer for 10-15 minutes and write without stopping, censoring, or worrying about structure. The goal is to let your thoughts flow freely, which can often spark new ideas or release pent-up creativity. Another helpful approach is setting small, achievable goals. Instead of aiming to write an entire chapter in one sitting, commit to writing 200-300 words a day or focusing on a specific scene or memory. This can take the pressure off and make writing feel more manageable. Prompts can also help break through the block—consider starting with something simple like, “Write about a time you felt both proud and scared.” Even if you don’t feel ready to dive into your memoir’s larger narrative, these small exercises can reignite your creativity and provide momentum.

Managing Time: For many writers, balancing the demands of daily life with the desire to write can feel impossible. One key piece of advice is to create a writing schedule that fits within your existing routine, even if it means carving out short, dedicated pockets of time. If you have a busy schedule, try writing for 15-30 minutes a day during small windows of free time, such as in the morning before work or during lunch breaks. Another helpful approach is setting specific goals for each writing session, like drafting a single paragraph or revising one section, so that you feel a sense of accomplishment even with limited time. Some writers find that batching tasks helps, such as dedicating one day a week entirely to writing or research, while using the rest of the week for smaller tasks like editing or planning.

6. Reaching and Engaging Your Audience

Consider whether traditional publishing, self-publishing, or a hybrid option is best for your goals and needs. Each has its pros and cons. Regardless of your publishing route, marketing is key. Start by identifying your target audience and where they spend time online. Use social media, book clubs, and relevant blogs to create buzz. Consider hosting a launch event or offering pre-order incentives.

Engage with readers by sharing behind-the-scenes content, answering questions, or discussing your writing journey. Personal interactions can turn readers into loyal fans. Building a connection with your audience makes your memoir—and you as an author—more memorable.

By embracing your vulnerability, utilizing a professional manuscript assessment, and investing time early on in marketing and audience engagement, you ensure your memoir has the best possible chance to leave a lasting impression. Your story deserves to be heard, so give it the attention and care it needs to shine.

7. Editing and Refining Your Work

Working with a professional editor is essential, both for the quality of the work and the author’s overall experience and development as a writer. Here’s why it’s better for authors to work with a professional editor rather than editing their own work:

1. Fresh Perspective

After spending months or even years writing a memoir, an author can find themselves too close to the material, which makes it very likely to overlook inconsistencies, gaps in the narrative, or areas that need more development. A professional editor can bring a fresh set of eyes to the manuscript, noticing things the author might miss because they’re so immersed in the story.

2. Objective Feedback

Memoirs are deeply personal, and it’s common for authors to have strong emotional attachments to the narrative. A professional editor provides objective, constructive feedback that helps the author focus on the story’s impact and overall structure, rather than getting caught up in personal feelings or the need to preserve every word.

3. Improved Structure and Flow

Memoirs are often nonlinear, and organizing a complex, emotionally driven narrative can be tricky. Editors help restructure chapters or sections to ensure the story flows logically and engages the reader. They can suggest ways to tighten or reorganize content to enhance the pacing and tension, making sure the memoir has a strong narrative arc.

4. Clarity and Readability

Professional editors are experts in language. They can help clarify sentences, eliminate redundancy, improve transitions, and ensure that the prose is crisp and clear. Memoir writing often involves conveying complex emotions or events, and an editor can help ensure that these are communicated in a way that resonates with readers.

5. Consistency and Accuracy

Editors check for consistency in voice, tone, and factual details. In a memoir, it’s especially important to maintain an authentic voice throughout the narrative. They’ll also ensure that timelines, places, names, and other factual elements remain consistent and accurate, helping avoid potential confusion for readers.

8. Maintaining Objectivity in Sensitive Content

Memoirs frequently involve recounting difficult or painful experiences. A professional editor can help navigate the delicate balance between vulnerability and clarity, ensuring that sensitive topics are handled with care, without sensationalism or overly emotional exaggeration. They can also help authors decide what to include or leave out to avoid turning the narrative into a “cathartic purge” instead of a well-crafted story.

9. Identifying Marketability and Audience

Editors, especially those with experience in memoirs, often have a sense of what resonates with readers and what the market is looking for. While their primary job is to enhance the work, they can also offer advice on making the memoir more appealing to a broad audience, ensuring that it has the potential to find its place in the market.

10. Enhancing Author Confidence

Memoir writing is often a vulnerable process, and having an editor on board gives authors a sense of partnership and support. The editor can help the author feel confident in their work, knowing that it has been reviewed and refined by an expert who wants to help them succeed.

Working with a professional editor can ensure that a memoir is polished, cohesive, and impactful. Editors can offer the expertise, objectivity, and guidance that help take a memoir from a mere personal account to a compelling, well-crafted narrative ready for readers.

Bringing Your Memoir to Life with Izzard Ink

Writing your memoir is a journey of courage, reflection, and honesty. Once you’ve reached that point, it’s time to take the final step and share your story with the world. Remember: your voice has the power to inspire, connect, and make a difference.

To ensure your memoir shines, consider investing in professional guidance. Izzard Ink’s Manuscript Assessment and Action Plan can elevate your work to its fullest potential, giving you confidence in every word.

Ready to take your memoir from draft to unforgettable? Schedule a meeting with a publishing consultant today and discover how to make your story truly stand out. Your story deserves the best—let’s make it happen together.